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[07 Jul 2005|09:42pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

HAHAAH this is funny

Am i really that bad of a person.......................................................................................................................yup!

do i really disgust so many people... i really need to move out of this place and start over because obviously ive dont everything wrong in my life...

all i can do is laugh... HAHAHAA... at my shitty life lol... but dont think this is me wanting you to feel bad for me because obviously i dont give a fuck about anyone but myself! :)

so fuck me in the ass and call me billy


[29 Jun 2005|02:31pm]
[ mood | non -livejournally.... ]


im totally done with this whole live journal shit... its lame...

maybe ill check back now and then but im done...this is my finaly post FOREVER lol

peace ( fo good )



[17 Jun 2005|02:08pm]
[ mood | excited ]


today is benn coles birthday!!!!
3553936 call him!!!!

well i went and watched the heath card movie... wasnt that bad... now i have my heath card for whatever job might fly my way...
i went and applied at best buy and im pretty sure ima get hired... considering i know like 5 people that work there and theyre really desprate for employes....

tomorrow is the chior thingy... im excited... then after ima go party... fo real




[15 Jun 2005|05:30pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

today was fun

hung out with matty tasha molly<3 becca and kenny.... it was hela fun lol

we went to the mall and i bought chapelles show season 2 !!! YES!!!!!!!

well off to work.. making good cash fr walkign around... what could be better?


i like my drama free life... but i know it wont last long



[13 Jun 2005|08:58am]
[ mood | giddy ]

god m so tired... but it doesnt bother me

she woke me up when she called... that used to bother the hell out of me but now i like it... the thing that bothers me is when i dont hear her voice! AAHHH

well band practice today... the great thing about this is everytime we get together we get shit done... i love it.

i miss all my freinds already!!!! i have to chil with them sometime this week.... once sumer school starts ill be hella busy because ill have work everyday too lol... but hey, money is money.... and it doesnt grow on trees.


[12 Jun 2005|09:21pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

right now i feel so amazing... your wonderful.

I BOUGHT A NEW AMP... that shit is so loud... bought this bad ass effect pedal too.... krities mom offered me a job handing out flyers for her morgage company making 19 dollars an hour under the table... so i gladly accepted and i quit that stupid panera job

stupid beaner bitches

but the band is practiceing tomorrow and its so exciting!! i think we might accually have something here... we dont sound like that trendy 'core' music you might hear nowadays... we just sound like rock and roll and that exactly what i want... check out on warped tour 07 hahaha



[02 Jun 2005|02:39pm]
[ mood | weird ]

i wish i was anyones complete everything


[21 Apr 2005|07:45pm]
[ mood | metal ]

This is the year where hope fails you The test subjects run the experiments And the bastards you know, is the hero you hate But cohesing is posssible if we strive Theres no reason, theres no lesson No time like the present, telling you right now What have you got to lose, what have you got to lose Except your soul...who's with us! i am sick and it sucks WHY?!?!?!?!? fuck that idiot... dont let him ruin our amazingly beautiful night..... as slipknot put it... one more time and im gonna snap so sick of him... if i wouldnt go to jail i would fucking slaughter that stupid jew. its getting to the point wwhere its close to getting worth it. so im hopeing to get a fuckng psp for my b-day!!!! its the most amazing thing EVER!!!! im starting to really get into slipknot and its so awesome... they have so much energy!! i wiah i could be in a band like that but the one im in is amazing ANYONE NEED TICKETS FOR THE SHOW CALL ME at 3284106


[14 Apr 2005|07:51am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

ok. now thats what im talkin abut


exactly what i need right now.... its exciting... 5 days in a whole different side of the country?  could anything be better... yeah... maybe no chior.. lol.

im so girly ....  i had to re pack all my stuff lke 5 times because none of my stuff fit in my suitcase haha

this trip will be filled with my two love in life.... music and SLM

happiness is gonna come my way and ill grasp on to it so tightly... itll never run away again

see you guys in 5 days... unless i feel like staying there.


[11 Apr 2005|05:29pm]
what the fuck?

today has sucked extreme balls

yes , on a scale from 1 to 10.... 1 being not so extreme and 10 being extremely extreme i give to day a 9.5 on extreme lameness

we fight

and my heart breaks

we laugh

and my heart sings

please dont stop me from singing.

somethings that shouldnt make me angry do and i cant help that shit
fuck me and ALL my feelings... shes the only one that cares about them

i sure dont

yes i said it.

orlando soon and im really stoked... maybe i can have some fun for a change.... it seems like no matter who i surround myself with i cant have much fun because im not even comfortable with myself right now

well yeah

[24 Mar 2005|01:55pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

*** this week so far ***


yes guys, family guy is amazing... well  on monday sally came over in the morning and chilled and then ryan came over ... it was hella chillllllll.... then we were bored. so we called our buddy ben and said hey buddy... wana hang?  and he said hella... so we went over to his casa .. we ten went to skyzone which is an amazing place... its like the moon.... lol... then me benn and ryan took sally back to her casa and then the guys spent the night....

on tueday we woke up and yawned... then we busted out some poolage. i was the champion but ryan was very close behind.. hes hella good... then we busted out some ptd and had some fun with that... than the three of us went to sallys house... later that nigt shannon came over and benn got hella smashed with dan lol.... hes an abdart.... then me and ryan took benn to my house and we all crashed there again.

on wed we woke up and benn had to go homeo so he chiled at my casa while we went to go pick up bert... we picked him up then went to my house and played some nfsu2.  then we had to go do the prom thing everyone already knows about ... lol.. sally was happy and thats what i wanted... somany people treat her worse than she needs to be treated so i wanted to make her feel special because she really is... not only because i am in love with the girl but she is pretty much the most caring person i know.  :)

now im just sitting with bert cause he spent the night and were writing music... its awwwwesome. 

comment me on this one bitches.


[18 Mar 2005|09:19pm]
[ mood | exanimate ]

today has been hella fun... i got into mads and thats pretty cool... im really happy sally did though because she has the talent and she woulda been crushed if she didnt make it. im really happy right now... had fun at macaroni grill with carley sally and bert... hes cool and i dont hate you... im so happy with sally.. she makes me life livable. :) well yeah.....


[15 Mar 2005|06:58am]
[ mood | amused ]

this morning is too early but ill be okay.... no school. at least first period....


[14 Mar 2005|06:57pm]
[ mood | happy ]

were chillin... not like chillin chillin... bro were chillin. lol


real quick [11 Mar 2005|07:08pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

real quick! one thing i love is when no one ever guives me credit and thinks im a push over. fuck anyone who thinks so. :)


[08 Mar 2005|06:21pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

how can u gauge loneliness?

no relativeness just a great lyric.

today has been...well.. a day? ok for me but not for others around me that matter mucho to my life.
today i found myself in my room writing songs that were like really good... i was like ' wow... these songs are like really god" well at least i thought so.... i love the guitar... its just another way i have of expressing myself and my feelings. but overall i can say today was good....

im hella diggin chior right now... its so freakin fun!! yes. i love how i get everything in my life right now... it is awesome possum

anyone else feel the same?


this weekend... [05 Mar 2005|02:40pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

has been hella fun... unsats came!! im failing 4 classes... and im awaiting my destruction when my father gets home. fuck that... if they ground me i will run away. :)

i love life right now... there is NOTHING not to love about it... i have everything i could ever want or need and its magic to me.

hookah is fun except fo when the coal falls and burns tyour foot REAlLY bad :)

i love you.


[26 Feb 2005|07:02am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

ok.... first off... i seriously just accually looked at my picture and my nose looks so fucking big.... excuse the huge nose k guys. lol

well today i hope to hang with sally and ryan and whoever else is cool.  ive seriously had one of the best weeks of my entire life :).  i feel amazing.

This whole band things with fuckin jon is so gonna work out... mine and his lifes are so much alike it is crazy... and fuckin we go together so nicely... only thing is we might have brandon play with us now... we dont know... the reasons are 1.  me and brandnon mesh very well together on the guitar because we have played together alot before.... and 2.  lil pimp ( even though i love him and always will) has missed 3 practices.... we will see...

the only thing i hate is... ah.  i dont want to cause drama hahahahahahaa.

and this whole thing with shannon and jon and shit is so freaking funny...

yesterday i thought i should take a nap so i did at 3 and woke up at 6 this morning.  i love sleep!!

and p.s./.... i aint gay or nogthing ( obviously) but i love this man


[18 Feb 2005|04:55pm]
[ mood | excited ]


the only thing that seems to amaze me... i have been so many emotions these last couple weeks...... started out with happiness...then second guessing myself... then despair... then hatred... then love.. then happiness and more... sometimes i am amazed at all the emotions in this world and everything you can feel... if anyone wants to really get to know me then just listen to atreyu... some people just dont understand how much i love that band... it seems that every single song is written about something going on in my life

Hate can be a positive emotion
When it forces you to better yourself
You built me, constructed my desire
Perfected my hatred
Now I'm driven to be ten times better than you think you are
Ten times better than you think you are
Piece by piece I've built my walls
And burned the bridges down
That lead back to people like you
So full of malice, so full of scorn
You tried your best to crush my spirit
You tried to steal my soul
You pushed my back against the wall
And I broke it down
I will not be broken
Though I am the one who bleeds

sexy as all hell that is...
this weekend ought to be eventfull.. i have a track meet tonight in about an hour and im really nervous... i hope to throw at least 130 feet... if more than i know i will at least get 3rd.. wish me luck :)


1 more thing [21 Jan 2005|06:26pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

the other thing i hate is when your never included in anyones plans and you find yourself begging people over the phone to hang otu with you... that is the worst feeling ever......

do you ever feel like you should be mentioned or included and your not!??! it sux

__when in rome__


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [21 Jan 2005|06:23pm]
the worst feeling in the world is when you are jealous..... but there is supposed to be nothing to be jealous of....

you know what else i fucking hate... why on earth do people think there is a time limit on feelings?

WT -motherfuckin_ F!

FUCKING BULL SHIT! [20 Jan 2005|01:16pm]
i hate bullshit... god i get home today and some fucker is threatining to beat my ass for something i didnt even do! WTF!?!?!? fuck this shit. i hate it when people think im nothing,.. fuck that.

[16 Jan 2005|11:50am]
Well this weekend has been hella fun and hella painful so far... on thursday night i fucked up my ear so badly... it hurts like a bitch!!!!  today will be just another boring day on my list of boring days ... well friday i went to sallys house and i had a great time. i always do... i have never had a bad time with her and that is crazy ya know...  yesterday i hung out with my freinds matt, zach, and kyle... we went to cafe hooka and it was pretty fun... i went to 711 while i was there and i saw brenden.. he has joined the list of people that have ran away from home and i think that is crazy!  why must peoples family lives suck?! sometimes i feel as if i dont deserve my family.. they arent perfect but at least the dont fight or beat me or anything crazy like that... i feel bad for those that have shity families... if there is anything i could do to help these people i would gladly do anything in my power to make them have a better life... i just dont understand.... why on earth do i deserve such a good family but they dont... but to be honest i would much rather have my family be shity then my mom be as sick as she is... it is the most hurtful thing to watch her go through this pain every single day.... wow it just makes my insides deteriorate so fast...  but whatever... life deals you cards and sometimes they are fucked up./... you just gotta play witht the cards your deal right?  well it seems that ive been dealt a full house when she came into my life... ;)

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [12 Jan 2005|11:10am]
[ mood | sick too!! ]

i hate being sick!! god i havent slept that long in ages and now i feel like a brand new me... getting 15 hours of sleep doesnt make you lazy does it? well if so WHO CARES!!!

 haha i had a fantasic weekend hanging out with my favorite person in the whole wide world... its so fun to hang with her and leigh.... is kinda funny... when the three of us hang out i feel like the third wheel hahaha.... its probably because they have been best freinds for a long time ya know. well i dont care ... ive always been the third wheel! i love her so much... she is the light of my life right now... she makes me want to get out of my bed every single morning and make myself beter. i cant find the words to express how i am feeling right now! anger, depression, love , and butterflys all at the same time i guess but ill live as always...i cant beleive its already wednesday!! the weeks seem to go by so fast next time i open my eyes ill be 30 living in a house with my family and having a ....job... EEEWWW!!! that word makes me sick.... excuse me while i vomit......................................................................ok thats better. i dont know how i am going to be when i grow up... god isnt that the craziest feeling in the world?!?! i bet our parents felt the same way when they were our age.... wow life is amazing... sometimes i wonder why on fucking earth am i even here?  im just a little microscopic peice of dust in the place we call earth... with its billions and billions of inhabitants over the centuries... wow its just amazing... well i am not too sure what i am going to do this weekend even though it is a four day weekend!!!!  i know ima rehearse with alec , robert and sally.. that will be fun to be in another band... i love music more than almost anything.

well comment on this one bitches.


OH EM GEE!! [02 Jan 2005|07:53pm]
[ mood | curious ]

wow the feelings im having rigt now are crrazy as hell!!! i know she doesnt like him... and i kow she is in love with me....i beleive her and is something... it took me till yesterday to completely beleive her... but the fact that shes hanging out with him bothers me... i know it shouldnt... but considering he likes her and she knows and they have history together scares me... i know she would NEVER cheat on me but i dont know what he might try to do!! god thats another reason i know im in love with this girl. i get jealous whenever she even mentions another guy... its crazy!


OH SHIT NIGGA! [02 Jan 2005|12:25pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

wow man the weekend was hella eventful if i could say so myself... the party was awesome... all of the people that were there were cool and there was NO drama which was awesome.. the only bad thin about the party was i had a bad stomach ache. and then yesterday was awesome too... i guess im way sick of all the drama brandon brings... hes gonna hate it when he breaks up with mindy and he has no freinds left because hes treated them all like shit... its funny how being interrupted makes you wanna kill yourself huh? and thats not something to fucking joke about in that household... god your stupid... it was fun trying to find someone to buy us smokes too hahaha. then i liked trying to cheer sally up and it worked... i cant beleive how strong these feelings are... it makes my insides wanna burst all over the floor.... wow i love that i can truely say that i am in love with that girl... wow!


[30 Dec 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | loved ]

im so cool!


whoa. [23 Dec 2004|10:39pm]
[ mood | touched ]

i was hella bored so i decided to make one of these things... well my life is pretty cool right now... i hate school right now and truthfully the only thing that is keeping my head up is her. She makes me feel so incredibly amazing... i dont know what to do with the feeling... do i put my heart completely on my sleve... i guess i already have but its okay because hers is out there too... she loves me... man i cant get over that.


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